Saturday, September 23, 2006

WKiW or BKiW

Today Sweet M and I were lying around on the bed in the morning, and I said, "Boy, I'm not so sure what to do . . . I think that the folks at your school are sort of mad at us."

"They're mad at you," she said, "because you borne the worst kid in the whole world."

"No that's not true," I said, "they're mad at me because I know you're the best kid in the whole world."

"I am not."

"You are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"In fact," I said, "we're going to have to tattoo you on your back with the letters BKiW — Best Kid in World." I traced the letters on her back.

"Oooowww, that tickles," she shrieked.

"Hey, can you tattoo that on my butt?" she asked.

I started laughing.

"Sure," I said, "it'll read BKiW right under your undies."

"Can this be our secret?" she asked.

"I'll keep it secret from your school," I said.

Of course she is neither the best nor the worst, but her school has her thinking she's the worst; for the moment all I can do is counter with the idea that she's the best kid – if not in the world — that she can be.


kristina said...

MV, what has the school said as far as when she can return? And is there a plan to help her through such "meltdowns"? And have you contacted your case manager......

MothersVox said...

Sweet M can go back tomorrow, but I am not sure whether to send her, because there is no plan in place to help her. Only the expectation that "she is too old to be screaming."

I took her to school the day before school started, to see what the plan for the year would be, and there was no plan. I was concerned, but probably (clearly) did not act quickly enough to express my concern about the lack of a plan. (Everyone, to some extent myself included, keeps fantasizing that M is just going to somehow "get it together" or "grow out of it."

That is the problem of the lack of aut-DX and her overall hifunctioning, and the fact that she pulled it together the day before.

It's all a long story, but how do I get a case manager?

We don't have a case manager . . . so I'm not sure what you mean. Do you mean the CSE?

kristina said...

CSE stands for "child study e-----"?

We have one person (usually an MSW or a pscyhologist) who is designated as Charlie's case manager in his school district and they handle paper work, requests, concerns. Is there a main contact person at the school who handles these things for M and would (I hope!) be the person to help set up the supports to help her deal with meltdowns?

MothersVox said...

CSE=Committee on Special Education.

"Child" doesn't even figure into that name, which probably tells much more than they intend.

We don't have a case manager. When she had preschool services we did, but when she became school aged, that all changed.

I'm so glad you have a case manager. Wish we did.

I am not sure if this is a function of M's overall higher functioning, or of the paucity of resources in NYC.

Lauren Yaffe said...

I'm a fan of Brooklyn Reading Works. looking through their schedule tonight, i saw your website listed & thought i'd take a quick peek but was immediately drawn in by your wonderful, resonant, and completely pertinent to me, writing. I read several posts with complete absorption, despite the fact that it is midnight & i have to take care of my 2 kids with various special needs early in the morning. thanks.

MothersVox said...

Special Focus, Thanks so much for your support, and especially for reminding me that I'd agreed to do something at Brooklyn Reading Works! I'd completely forgotten -- but now it's on my calendar for 07. I hope you can make it.