Friday, December 02, 2005

The Four D's . . .

Damaged—diseased—disabled—different.

These are the four d's that dominate the thinking about kids like mine, kids like sweet M.

If they are damaged—poisoned by some environmental toxin—then someone is to blame, someone has to pay, and something must be done.

If they are diseased—whether by the aforementioned damage, or by virtue of some genetic glitch—then they ought to be helped, they ought to be treated, we must search for a cure.

If they are disabled—unable to function as "normal" folks do—then we may seek reasonable accommodations.

And if they are different, simply different, there is space for the other four d's that I prefer: daring, determined, delightful, darling . . .

7 comments:

Kristina Chew said...

Dazzling, too.

As for "disabled" and "different," these can be positive and powerful words--am always seeking to change their meanings.

Lora said...

I like "your" 4 D's, well said.

Kristina Chew said...

I just read your wonderful comment on my blog and am very honored (and rather overwhelmed) by your kind words! I'm very glad to be reading about M.--that picture on the carousel holds a lot of resonances for me, as Charlie used to love riding them so much. I tend to feel that we are smore smack-center in the middle of autism (autismland) with Charlie and look forward to all and more of your writing.

MothersVox said...

Kristina, I am so moved by your blog, as you know, and about the real genius at work in what you are doing, with your son and with your writing in your account of your life. Genius as in genesis, getting to the beginning of things, the heart of things.

It does seem that your life is more centrally in autismland. And I love your naming of this.

We are certainly at the periphery of the autism spectrum, perhaps just at the edges.

Linda said...

I definitely agreee. I am currently working on a children's book dealing with the "different" and showing that our kids are not different just unique.

Wade Rankin said...

It's a little late to be joining in this thread, but I have to observe that I have no problem with the four "D's" because the fact that "damage" may have resulted in a "disability" to my son will not define him in the long run. Whatever response we have to autism, we must all help maintain the other "D:" dignity.

Susan Senator said...

I just discovered this blog and I love it! Great attitude. One more "D" for you: Diverse, neurologicall, that is...